Saturday, March 01, 2008
i really dont know what words can describe my feelings . campcraft competition today was postponed to next saturday . we trained so hard for today and things came out this way . yes , people might think that we should be happy to have one more week of training , but we dont really think so . many tests and mock exams are on this week , a total of 7 for me in just four days . team mates have their commitments in other stuff . what's even worse is , our captain will not be around on saturday .
we do have substitute for her , but our moral just went deep down . it wasnt caused by the rain but our captain wont be with us . i lost almost all my confidence now , i dont think i can do it right . i dont blame her cause she got problem staying in singapore due to her parents , what can we do ? changes are made here and there . its not that her substitute isnt good enough , but i just want everyone to be present as a team . even if its another member who will be away , it will not be right .
tears were shed by the team today . we are worried , without her , can we do it ? even if people believe us , i dont believe myself . everything seems to be so wrong ! i wanna cry but i cant . we told ourself that no tears will be shed for campcraft after we left hta . but sometimes i just feel so much like crying , but i tried to hold it back . it might be just myself feeling this way , cause it seemed that nothing happened to them . i'm worried , i doubt my own ability . hope are pinned to high for us . winning seems so impossible to me now ...
i dont blame anyone ,
i cried cause i think i cant do it .
im not as strong as others might think .
im not as good as you think .
im just a weak girl .
i stopped by at, 9:00 PM.
