Friday, September 28, 2007
GRANDPA! II LOVE YOU SO MUCHH!!
haven been blogging muchh these dayys,
today's post in kind of early as ii cant slp,
it will be draggy ndd you might get boredd.
things just happen so unexpectedly.
grandpa just left me on wed.
ii was totally shockedd when my dad calledd me,
saying "ahhgongg is having his last breath"
ii rushedd home right away.
waitedd for my family members ndd went my auntie hse.
cousins were ard.
ii triedd to stay strong ndd stop myself from crying.
but ii just broke down seeing my ahhgong lying on the bed.
tears just flow non-stop.
ii dunnoe wad ii could tell him,
ii just kept crying ndd calling for him.
hoping that he will respond to me,
which is impossible.
heard from my aunt that the nurse came in the morning,
ndd saidd that he will be leaving us.
ii couldn't stop blaming myself,
ii been telling myself to visit him,
but yet till now ii nvr visitedd once.
iim just so unfilial.
he misses us so much,
holding on to our photos everyday,
wishing to see us.
but yy didnt ii go ndd visit him.
its been almost a month since his condition worsen.
ndd yet we didnt visit him.
only at the moment that he is leaving,
dhen we visit..
grandpa lookedd totally different from ii last seen him,
during his birthday celebration.
he was so skinny,
lying on the bed ndd cant reply us.
he knew that we were ard,
tears are flowing from his eyes.
thou ii couldn't bring myself say the word"let go",
but ii tink it wud be better off for him to let go,
rather than suffering the pains.
it hurts even more to see him in great pain.
though everyone noes that if grandpa leaves,
it wud be better for him,
all of us broke down again ndd when again,
when grandpa breathing stops.
ii wanted to ask him nort to leave,
yet ii cant, holding back myself.
even now,
the sight of my grandpa leaving me is still spinning in my mind.
ii tried to occupy myself with stuffs,
so that ii wud stop thinking of his leaving.
as thinking of it, tears will start flowing down my cheeks.
ii nvr knew that my love ones wud leave me one day.
ii cant take it,seeing the leaving me.
but now that he's gone,
memories of him will dwell in my heart.
ii realizedd that ii had took many things for grantedd,
thinking that they will always be thr for me.
but iim totally wrong!
ii alwayys think that grandpa will alwayys be with me.
but things isnt this way..
he still left me.
ii have nno mood to do anything,
but just wish to stay at the wake,
accompany him before cremation.
cuz that wud really be the last time iim able to see him.
iim glad that Jesus had brought grandpa to God,Our Father.
grandpa left with a smile on his face.
Jesus had came before him.
sat will the cremation,
ndd iim leaving lessons early to go to the wake.
gonna stay overnight till sat.
wanna stay with him till the veh last min.
think iim talking a lil bit too muchh here,
byebyeeeeeeee.
today's post in kind of early as ii cant slp,
it will be draggy ndd you might get boredd.
things just happen so unexpectedly.
grandpa just left me on wed.
ii was totally shockedd when my dad calledd me,
saying "ahhgongg is having his last breath"
ii rushedd home right away.
waitedd for my family members ndd went my auntie hse.
cousins were ard.
ii triedd to stay strong ndd stop myself from crying.
but ii just broke down seeing my ahhgong lying on the bed.
tears just flow non-stop.
ii dunnoe wad ii could tell him,
ii just kept crying ndd calling for him.
hoping that he will respond to me,
which is impossible.
heard from my aunt that the nurse came in the morning,
ndd saidd that he will be leaving us.
ii couldn't stop blaming myself,
ii been telling myself to visit him,
but yet till now ii nvr visitedd once.
iim just so unfilial.
he misses us so much,
holding on to our photos everyday,
wishing to see us.
but yy didnt ii go ndd visit him.
its been almost a month since his condition worsen.
ndd yet we didnt visit him.
only at the moment that he is leaving,
dhen we visit..
grandpa lookedd totally different from ii last seen him,
during his birthday celebration.
he was so skinny,
lying on the bed ndd cant reply us.
he knew that we were ard,
tears are flowing from his eyes.
thou ii couldn't bring myself say the word"let go",
but ii tink it wud be better off for him to let go,
rather than suffering the pains.
it hurts even more to see him in great pain.
though everyone noes that if grandpa leaves,
it wud be better for him,
all of us broke down again ndd when again,
when grandpa breathing stops.
ii wanted to ask him nort to leave,
yet ii cant, holding back myself.
even now,
the sight of my grandpa leaving me is still spinning in my mind.
ii tried to occupy myself with stuffs,
so that ii wud stop thinking of his leaving.
as thinking of it, tears will start flowing down my cheeks.
ii nvr knew that my love ones wud leave me one day.
ii cant take it,seeing the leaving me.
but now that he's gone,
memories of him will dwell in my heart.
ii realizedd that ii had took many things for grantedd,
thinking that they will always be thr for me.
but iim totally wrong!
ii alwayys think that grandpa will alwayys be with me.
but things isnt this way..
he still left me.
ii have nno mood to do anything,
but just wish to stay at the wake,
accompany him before cremation.
cuz that wud really be the last time iim able to see him.
iim glad that Jesus had brought grandpa to God,Our Father.
grandpa left with a smile on his face.
Jesus had came before him.
sat will the cremation,
ndd iim leaving lessons early to go to the wake.
gonna stay overnight till sat.
wanna stay with him till the veh last min.
think iim talking a lil bit too muchh here,
byebyeeeeeeee.
i stopped by at, 12:52 AM.
